Rewind – trying to make it through the week with a little performance

Stephen Pate, peforming on Victoria Row - come on down Tuesdays for lunch Noon to 2 PM

Each day is a challenge for someone who has a disability. How we see ourselves is mostly personal perception.

I am fortunate that I can walk a little and still do manual tasks. Other disabled people can do more or less.

Every person with a disability is just like me, trying to cope, to get by and make some sense of life. Actually, we all are doing that only some people can accomplish more in the same time.

When I wrote Tenth anniversary of being disabled and loving it , it was early in the day, early in the week and natural optimism prevailed. The second part of the story was written a day later but by then I was struggling at 11:30 AM to muster the energy to finish it.  

I try to accept the bad minutes, hours, days and even weeks when nothing wants to work with my body. I can always read, play the guitar, or write a story. But sometimes the fatigue is so pervasive it is time to quit for awhile, like now.

A good week is measured in what got done not what was planned. Over-planning time for the disabled is a mistake, a source of disappointment.There can be long stretches at a time when just getting by is the only achievable goal.

Like last week, I started putting up shelves in the garage that were purchased in 2005. Things don’t always get done right away but we get to them is my motto.

I worked on this blog cleaning up the data base which will take months, one story at a time. It turns out the WordPress theme we are using may be the problem. Each day I pick at researching the issues.

Last week I talked to a bunch of lawyers about some legal issues. One lawyer from the US Trademark Office was especially helpful. By the end of the week, we have moved the ball forward on three files.

Paid a few bills which is always fun.

In the project to replace the computer in my studio, I got almost the whole configuration finished. The studio computer has to be very quiet to keep the computer noise from ruining recording. It also has to be fast enough to avoid latency in the processor and hard drive.

Each component is being chosen for quietness and performance. I hope to build it myself which is another story. Since the world doesn’t turn on when I finish I’ll give it a go.

Wednesday was my day to play on Victoria Row. It was sunny and cold with people rushing by. Two tourists from NB and Ontario stopped for over an hour to keep me company.

Like always, I had an extended rest when I got home. I put the gear away the next day. If you listen to Mean Hearted Woman you can hear fatigue in my voice: the time was almost up.

You might have gotten more done than me last week or not. I’m still frustrated it took four years to get those shelves up, but they’ll be done in a week or two and after 4 years what is there to complain about? Time went by, life moved on and shelves are just shelves.

Last week you might have written a chapter in a novel, might have built a house. You might have solved a mystery. You might have painted a room. You might have gotten married.  You might have gotten sick.  You might do things slower or you might do them quick.

But I don’t care. I just try to get what is possible and leave the rest.

And now, I will search for a graphic, publish this story and have a nap. Not a perfect morning but you do what you can.