Yes Alberta, there is a Santa Claus

Santa Party, St. Albert, Alberta (photo St. Albert Santasite)

By Paul MacNeill, Eastern Graphic – The jolly old man looked over the rim of his glasses, sipped lightly from his cup of hot tea and pondered the question from the little girl.

“Is there really a Santa Claus?” she had asked meekly.

It was the type of question that requires a deft touch.

“Yes, Alberta, there really is a Santa Claus.”

She smiled and reached out her hand. Grasping it lightly he began to tell the real story of Santa Claus.

Way back in the late 1960s, Prince Edward Island was an economic basket case, he said. Our million acres were dotted with small family farms and vibrant rural communities. The Elves (also known as The Suits) decided this was inefficient so they set about magically changing the landscape. They promised prosperity for all. 

First a few cows disappeared.

Then a few pigs.

The Elves imposed rules on our fishermen (they were still called that before it became politically incorrect) that strangled their ability to make a living.

Small plots of farmland were sold. Then large plots.

Locally owned stores that sold nails and hardware, televisions and shoes, bread and eggs closed their doors; replaced by bigger stores whose owners lived beyond our shores.

Gradually people started moving from our little towns. On his television show (a new fangled form of distraction back then), the Wiseman, Lyndon MacIntyre, even prophesized that PEI would become a land reliant on government money and transfers.

We scoffed at his ridiculous notion.

Time has proven the Wiseman right. Now most of our farmers grow potatoes destined for French fry plants. Our shorelines are dotted with cottages owned by foreigners. The farmers that still try to scrap a measly living from the soil must compete with cheap labour and product mass shipped into our country courtesy of international trade deals concocted by the Scrooge of Christmas Past, Monsieur Mulroney. Our fishermen are lucky to pay their fuel bill.

The prosperity The Elves promised has arrived, Alberta, but it’s not found everywhere. Now the rich are found in government office towers and city law firms. Now they look down their noses at what’s left of PEI’s economic engine.

Of course Alberta, the prosperity is a mirage. It’s not real. We’re building dreams on the back of our children. Okay I’ll be a little more direct. The Elves are spending like drunken sailors. Money we don’t have. Racking up hundreds of millions of dollars in debt with no hope of ever paying it off.

But the friends of the most powerful Elves are richly rewarded. They are given contracts for questionable work. They are consultants skilled in the art of paper churning. They are friends of Elves whose only apparent skill is the ability to write a fundraising cheque.

Thankfully Alberta we have powerful friends, friends who pay our bills. You know what? More than 40 per cent of our money is a gift in one form or another. It pays for our schools and hospitals. It pays for our roads. It pays for the thousands upon thousands of civil servants who work for us.

Paul MacNeill, publisher Eastern Graphic

I know it’s Christmas my dear, but you need to know. Our rich cousins are getting annoyed. They sorta see us as the spoiled little kid who refuses to listen to parental advice.

I bet it won’t be long before they take our allowance away. Then what will we do?

Yes Alberta. There really is a Santa Claus, and it is you.

Merry Christmas.

Paul MacNeill is Publisher of Island Press Limited. He can be contacted at paul@peicanada.com

Photo courtesy of St. Albert, Alberta Santa site