And why I never adopted a life of crime

CCTV of Colonel Gray graffiti artist making death threats

The Charlottetown Police have released to CBC and other media the CCTV video of the male who left the death threat graffiti on Colonel Gray High School last week. See Waiting for Columbine on PEI

It’s pretty hard to tell what he looks like, assuming it’s even a guy but you can more or less tell by the gait. Not being sexist but women general have a different “walk” than men.

The closed circuit TV camera installed by the school is useless unless the perpetrator takes off their hoodie and stares directly at the camera while standing nearby.

Have a look and if you know the person, call the Charlottetown Police with your tip.

Which reminds me why I never embarked on a life of crime.

Not that the thought of becoming a member of the “Zip Gang” or some other band of desperadoes hadn’t crossed my mind.

One day more than twenty years ago, it was painfully obvious to me that I wasn’t criminal material. It was 1983 and we were in the depths of an awful recession. Interest rates hit 21.5%.

There wasn’t much happening that August in Montague PEI. Our accounting firm hit a particular dry spell. We needed money but there was none. Clients couldn’t afford to pay their bills.

We were all sitting around the office one day at 2 pm and I threw out an idea as a solution.

“Why don’t I just nip next door and hold up the bank?” I suggested in desperation and the heat.

“Naw,” said the accounting clerk. “They’d know it was you.”

“”There goes Stephen robbing the bank’ they would say.”

“Yes, that would be bad for our image in the accounting business.”

“I could cut eye holes in a paper bag and put it over my head,” I replied.

“Naw, they would still know it was you,” she replied again.

“They’d say ‘There goes Stephen with a bag over his head, limping into the bank to rob it before closing'”

And she was right on the money. When you have a silly walk like John Cleese and I there is no way you are going to pull off crimes and not be recognized.

Then and there I made up my mind to avoid criminal activity and opened a computer business instead.

There’s always a sunny side to everything including polio.