Music, Personal Tech & Human Rights since 2005

Humour, Lifestyles, My cousin Steve Pate, NJN

Looking for my Chinese cousin Steve in all the wrong places

I’m not against better sex, but I have my own way of figuring that one out.

Nonetheless, every day I get hundreds of offers for live sex, video sex, email sex, sex aids, Viagra etc. Email spam filters catch them.

I was deleting 260 sex offers from my Gmail account today. Noticed most of the emails were Chinese.

What if they were legitimate emails from cousins in China like Steve Pate over there who lives in Szechuan Province cooking up all that hot food?

Love Szechuan, even if my GRD doesn’t.

In 1981, a lawyer buddy took me to Spadina Avenue in Toronto for some Chinese. “Szechuan?” he asked innocently.

There were only teddy bears

There were only teddy bears

“Sure,” I replied naively.

As he ordered all the dishes with little red marks beside them he said, “Get two Cokes.”

I ordered one Coke but soon regretted that. Where was the waiter when you needed him?

Back to Chinese spam.

So I clicked on an email link at random. Not a good way to find long lost relatives but what plan do you have?

Half hoping to see Steve again and half hoping it would be like sexy Chinese porn, I got a surprise when Cuteshop.com.tv popped up.

Cute Shop.com

Cute Shop.com

I clicked around. Steve wasn’t on that site, just a lot of teddy bears and gee gaws.

I tried to order a few gross of this and that for the flea market on Sunday but it was hopeless. The only thing I understood was the calendar.

I’ve got a niece who speaks Mandarin and a 2nd cousin who was in Peking in the foreign service. I should call them up and see if they can help.

Or maybe Richard Brown: he was over in China quite a bit they say.

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